The X Factor, FOX
Are you ready to kick off another season of The X Factor? OK, so this week is actually the second week, but better late than never, right? Whether you missed the show or just want to re-live an audition, read on for a complete recap of tonight's episode!
In the not-at-all-scripted opening between Britney Spears and Demi Lovato, two things are brought up in a conversation that, weirdly enough, sounds totally scripted: Britney tells Demi that Simon will be replaced by his regular collaborator Louis Walsh for the day; then Demi tells Britney that it's fellow judge LA Reid's birthday. Britney immediately - and I mean immediately - volunteers to sing "Happy Birthday" as if she can't think of any gift in the entire universe that would be better. I mean, I or any other non-celeb would totally get excited for that, but I have the feeling that LA isn't waiting for that with bated breath.
The first auditioner on tonight's show is Rizzloe Jones, 18, a self-described "high packed ADD animal," whatever that means. Cece Frey, a 20-year-old mail clerk with a leopard print paint all over the side of her face (is that a look that I'm unaware of, or is she just crazy?), latches onto him once she sees the cameras. "He's not a threat at all," she says to her boyfriend, but Rizzloe doesn't let it bother him and says that he's not nervous, merely excited. He's a freestyle rapper, and seems good rhytmically and whatnot, but I can't understand a word he says. He gets four yeses, though, so my guess is it's just me.
Cece's still latching onto everybody that the camera points to, so we get to see her have an awkward exchange with a few more contestants before it's her turn. She sings a "Cecefied" version of "Unchained Melody," and only seems to hit one in five notes. But they give her another chance on Christina Aguilera's "Ain't No Other Man" and she's somewhat better, so she gets the go-ahead from all four judges as well.
39-year-old Vino Alan's head is entirely covered in tattoos, and when he takes off his hat Britney makes a face that could stop traffic. Vino takes it in stride, though: "Look at Britney!" he says, laughing goodnaturedly, and I have to be honest: I like the guy. He sings a Ray LaMontagne song ("Trouble") and it's perfect for his voice - while it's not a flawless performance, it's very good and you can totally see what kind of songs he would produce so I'm glad to see him get all four yeses.
Deangelo Wallace, 19, claims that he'll definitely go through to the bootcamp round "unless the judges want to give feedback." So you can guess which way this audition is going to go right off the bat - and it does. The judges leave, saying that they work hard and the show's not a joke to them and Deangelo leaves the building with a microphone...so he's hauled off to the police station and charged with a misdemeanor. Worth it? Maybe.
Tate Stevens is a 37-year-old country singer who looks and sounds like a country singer. Seriously: picture a stereotypical country singer in your head, then look to picture the right. A guaranteed match. Luckily for Tate, his voice matches up to his look on Randy Houser's "Anything Goes" and he's the last one of the day to go through unanimously.