BWW Interviews - Selma Gives the Real Scoop Behind ABC's THE BACHELOR
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by Caryn Robbins
Selma Alameri, 29, a real estate developer from San Diego, CA, was enthralled with her one-on-one date with Sean when the day began with a limousine ride and a private jet. But soon thereafter, she was shocked to find them in a daring rock climbing escapade amid the desert landscape of the Joshua Tree National Park in Twenty-nine Palms, California. Despite Selma having reservations about getting intimate with Sean -- she did not want to disappoint her mother -- she captured a rose at the conclusion of a romantic dinner. Now as Selma continues her quest to win Sean's heart in the fifth week, she will find herself with the 10 remaining bachelorettes in picturesque Whitefish, Montana. She is hoping to take another step in the ultimate goal of receiving the last rose and getting past all of the drama, as Sean questions whether he will find his soul mate among these women.
Explosive drama and surprise eliminations mark a two-night BACHELOR special event, which kicks off tonight, February 4 (8:00-10:01 P.M., ET) and continues on a special night and time on Tuesday, February 5 (9:00-11:00 P.M., ET). In a recent phone conversation, Selma gave the inside scoop on her one-on-one date with Sean and what really goes down when the cameras stop rolling!
Do you think the fact that your family's strict values, the fact that they didn't want you kissing someone on TV, put you at a disadvantage? And if so, does that mean Sean wouldn't be the guy for you?
I did feel like it did put me at a disadvantage. I was afraid of that coming into it and I explained that to my family also. I was like you know I'm going there to win someone's heart so all these other woman can show their affection and I can't. You know I'm afraid that he's going to take it as I don't really like him. But at the end of the day Sean is just such an amazing man that he totally understood and it really didn't matter. So, you know, I did feel it would put me at a disadvantage but end of the day no I don't think it did.
You told the cameras during Monday night's episode that you weren't planning on kissing Sean until you were the last woman standing. Were you kind of joking about that or completely serious? f you made it all the way to the end, would you literally hold out on kissing Sean until that final moment of the season?
At that moment, I was kind of saying what I thought I was going to do - like I want to hold out and I was just rolling with the punches. I didn't know what was going to happen. I didn't know if I was going to end up kissing him or if I wasn't, because things change. Life happens, you know?
You don't know - you act on emotion. You don't know what is going to happen. So, for that moment, yeah, I really did mean it saying it. But you'll have to wait and see, you know, what ended up happening.
In his blog, CHRIS HARRISON said you wanted to kiss Sean and really didn't necessarily seem to believe that dating publicly is wrong nor is kissing, but you felt compelled just out of respect for your parents and their beliefs to refrain from kissing Sean. Did you develop a slight feeling of resentment or regret as the season progressed.
No, no I 'm the type of person who never regrets anything I do. Honestly I feel like everything is meant to happen. But I -- I really don't believe that showing affection in public is a bad thing like my mom does. But you know at the end of the day she is my mother and she had one simple request. She didn't mind that I was going to do the show, which is huge in our culture. You know, it's big enough to just be going on a dating show but her one request just please just don't make out with him on television, don't be that girl, you know. So to me it was honestly a simple request and I needed to test Sean to see if he would respect my family and my culture as well, you know.
Because we do have just strong culture, you know, and my family is so big in my life so it was sort of a test for him as well and you know it was a huge test for me to see if I could resist even, you know.
A lot has been said about whether or not someone with the values that you obviously exhibited on Monday night that this is the right place for you. Did you ever regret going on the show?
Well my thoughts on that was my family didn't say don't show emotion and don't fall in love. They simply said do not make out with somebody on television. You know, so to me I don't need to make out with a man to know whether I like him or to know whether our lives are going in the same path and whether I can see a future with him. It's more so, you know, his Touch his -- his caring, the way he looks at me, that's really what matters at the end of the day not making out with him. So no, I was like I can easily fall in love with him and without having to make out with him, you know.
Really I feel like he thought yes I could tell whether I could be with this girl for the rest of my life or not without having to make out with her either because I saw it in his eyes, you know. He could easily see himself falling in love with somebody without having to physically, you know, do it.
If say you do end up with Sean in the end, is he someone that could even fit in with your family? Would be accepted because he's obviously grown up fairly differently than you.
I's funny because yeah my brother-in-law is actually blonde hair, blue eyes, a catholic, very American and our family is American. We do live the American culture, you know, we do date. It's not like we don't. My mom clearly knows we do. My mom knows I've kissed a boy before, but and she's very goofy and loving and we do very normal things.
But it was more so just for the people that, you know, that is in our (inaudible) circle. She was like, you know, I just don't want them to have to talk about us, I don't want, you know, I don't want to give them ammo and, you know, for them to think that you guys are bad Girls like. But in our family, clearly we date, my sister is married to an American boy and it's not -- it's not he would have fit right in. And all my other sisters, you know, they have boyfriends, they're all American.
Every guy I've ever dated is American, so he would have definitely fit right in. You know he just had to stand the test of time for that moment.
I was so impressed with the way you scrambled up that steep cliff. It appeared at the beginning that you had a fear of heights and that it wasn't going to happen and then you got right up there. I was just wondering what that experience was like.
You know it's so funny because they don't show a whole lot of how scared I really was. I was like freaking out I was so nervous because I really do have a fear of heights and I'd never been rock climbing before and I mean I do love adventure and I hike all the time but to go climb a vertical hundred foot rock, I was at the bottom of that thing staring at it like I don't even know where you want me to start.
And I'm looking at him like if I survive this you would be lucky if I still like you after this. But at the end of the day it was like survival mode and I literally just hauled ass up that rock. I was like I can't even think about anything, I can't think about where I am, what I'm doing. I just blocked it out of my mind and just started crawling like go team go.
And when I got up there I never loved Sean so much because he really did at that moment everyone is like oh he should have given you the glamour date and I'm like no way. He really gave me a chance to prove to the world that like you know I'm more than just a glamour girl, because I am. I actually -- I'm in gym clothes my whole life, you know.
So I was really really happy and I really did love him so much for giving me the opportunity to prove myself that way.
It seems a bit unfair that some Girls get the 'glamour dates' as you called them and others have to jump off the top of a skyscraper or do what you did and I was just wondering if you thought that that was fair.
I think it's totally fair. I didn't mind it one bit. I loved it as a matter of fact because for him to have taken me on a glamour date it would have been so cliché. Oh take the glamour girl on a glamour date, please. You know like think of something like exciting, be a little more clever than that. But I mean taking an Iraqi to the desert, I don't know. I was like OK.
But I mean I honestly I do think it's fair, I think that he does it -- he picks certain Girls for certain things just to kind of test them and that's the whole point of the dates. You want to test the person you're with you want to see if this is going to work for them because these are probably things that he would do on a daily basis and he wants to see can this girl handle that.
OK let's take this girl to a glamour date and see if she could handle that you know, if this is something she would like doing. So honestly I think it's very smart that he takes them out of their element and kind of tests them a little bit.
Who did you get along with best at the house you said you kind of kept to yourself but was there one particular girl that you got along with well?
You know I didn't like keep to myself I just kept away from the drama. I actually got along with all the girls. I -- I really did but I would have to say I was closest with AshLee. You know her and I were sort of the oldest ones in the house. She might kill me for saying that, but we were so we -- we got a long best but I really did enjoy all the Girls that lived in the house. They were all amazing. Well, with the exception of one.
We won't mention any names.
Yes, we won't mention any names.
Did you think everyone including yourself has been portrayed pretty accurately?
Actually yes. It's funny because I was so afraid that they were going to make me out to be something I wasn't. I was like oh my God, you know, like you know like you never know with reality television what's going to happen but I mean honestly they can't -- they really can't make you someone you're not. So yes I think everyone has been portrayed like very accurately.
Who would you say was the nicest and most trusted girl in the house? And then also who was the least genuine housemate besides Tierra. Obviously we've heard about her already.
Honestly I felt like the Girls came to me the most because I was sort of like mother hen for some reason. I loved AshLee but you know she did keep to herself a little bit and I mean I felt like the Girls came to me more than anything but as far as being the most untrustworthy I honestly couldn't tell you anybody else but Tierra.
Like all the Girls got along so well and we've, you know, sort of confided in each other but definitely Tierra was the black sheep and I can honestly say that was the only person that no one really got a long with.
What did you think about Leslie H who just got eliminated?
Leslie H. You know I actually didn't get to know Leslie H too much because at that point there were so many Girls and we were just barely, you know getting to know each other and she got eliminated so soon, so I didn't get to know too much about her but she was a sweetheart. You know she was a nice girl. I don't know that -- I never saw her and Sean together so I couldn't tell you what their love connection was or anything, but I -- now looking back on that I can't see any connection between them.
Did your parents or your mom watch the show and has their opinion changed about your time on the show and what did they think of Sean?
Yes my mom is watching the show and you know all my sisters and they definitely did change their opinion because they were like -- they were like Sean actually is such a sweet guy, you know, he is a very innocent person. He's sweet and he seems like a very like down to earth and definitely did change their mind especially that I kept to, you know, I stayed and did what they asked me to do so they were like OK we're not living in fear right now, because they definitely were for a minute, you know. I think it changed their mind about it. Definitely.
Would you say that you were in love with Sean?
You said earlier that you didn't kiss him, we saw you not kiss him but that changed possibly later?
You'll have to wait and see I mean -- I can't give that away.
What about off camera would that have been okay?
It was more so just being so public about it. I guess you can say what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them. You know so if I was off camera like I don't -- I don't think they would have figured it out but, you know, I can't give that one away.
If it can't be you that ends up with Sean is there another girl in the house you think would be a really good match for him?
Well no I think I'm the best match for him. Genuine or not I don't care that was my man.
Obviously you weren't on the group date last week so you didn't see the water works and drama that went on with Tiera, but did everybody talk about it when they came back from the date or are you seeing stuff now on TV that you're like oh my God she's even worse than I thought?
It's funny because they did when they came back that night it was so dramatic. Like I'm surprised that they didn't air all that because there was even more drama when you know they came home. I remember I was sleeping, I feel like I'm sleeping throughout this whole thing.
I don't know what's happening, but anyway I was sleeping and I just woke up to all this like arguing and back and forth hand I'm like what is going on and so I remember them telling me this story, what not and I kind of was like okay can we go back to bed it's not that serious, good night. You know but now that I'm watching it I'm like oh my God this girl, like I mean I -- I diagnose her bipolar for sure.
Will Sean possibly continue to not see how crazy Tiera is or do you think that maybe she is there for the right reasons because she wants Sean but she just doesn't get along with the other girls?
That's how I saw it when I was in the house and that's why I ignored it because I was like, this girl just doesn't know how to get along with other people. Like with other Girls especially and I thought about and I'm like not everybody is going to be comfortable in a situation like this. Not everybody can handle dating a man with 26 other women, as much as they come into it thinking maybe they can, no it's harder than your realize, you know. It sounds all easy in your head but then you start to gain feelings for this man and all of the sudden you go crazy.
But to me I'm still like lady hide your crazy for a little bit like you -- you know you signed up for this at the end of the day don't forget that and don't take it out on us like it's not our problem that you can't handle it. So I mean I don't know if she was there for the right reasons, I don't know what her deal is. Sean definitely did not see the like crazy side of her because she would literally be crazy with us and then I'd watch her with Sean and she'd be like batting her eyelashes and just like this sweet little puppy looking into his eyes.
And I'm like oh my God this girl has just got him so fooled. So you know I don't know. I don't know what her deal is and still can't figure it out to this day.
It's so hard because when you watch it on television it's very easy to be like 'wake up and smell the coffee!' But I imagine in the situation it's probably a lot harder to do that, especially because he's not seeing everything.
Yes. That's what, you know we were thinking at the time we were left, Sean's not a stupid man, he's a smart guy, he's very sharp, he's very you know like I'm sure he has a very good judge of character but at the end of the day he wasn't living with us. You know, he didn't see her on a daily basis, he saw her for, you know, the date and he -- and she would pretend to get along with us on the date.
Like she would start acting all nice to us and you know whatever so she just was a completely different person like it was crazy how she could switch it on and off and he really just didn't see it. And I don't blame him for not being able to see it at all because she was so good at it and I'm like all right, you know either someone is going to have to tell him or he's never going to see it because she could play this off so well.
Amanda was kind of portrayed this season as being very quiet and guarded around the Girls and kind of similar like you've been talking about Tierra a different person in front of Sean. What were your impressions of Amanda? Were you a fan of hers and were you surprised at all that Sean sent her home?
Honestly I wasn't surprised that he sent her home because I didn't see a connection between them but I didn't mind Amanda at all I liked her. I thought she was -- she was very different and quiet but she wasn't mean or crazy or conniving or anything by no means. She was just sort of quiet, you know.
I mean she talked to all the other Girls but she wasn't as outgoing as some of the other Girls in the house who were. So maybe she both took that the wrong way but she defiantly wasn't like a conniving person or anything like that. She sort of kept to herself.
So far this season a lot of viewers keep saying that Sean seems to think that every girl is "the one" after he has a special one on one date with them or, you know, some private time alone with certain Girls. While you're watching the season unfold, what are your thoughts on that? Do you think that is a little surprising of Sean?
No. I -- I actually kept saying I don't envy Sean like -- I feel so bad for him because there really were a lot of good catches this season. You know, but there was a lot of good Girls and I -- he was in a really tough position because each girl was so sweet and was so genuine and you know they picked good Girls for a good guy and they did a good job at it. So, I did think he had a hard task and I do think that he really genuinely really liked each girl because if I can really genuinely like each girl then, you know, he definitely could too.
As a girl and living in the house with them and drama and this, if I could still like them at the end of the day you know they're good girls, you know? So I believe him when he says he really had connections with each of them.
Photos courtesy of ABC